dooood, braahhhh!

hello friends! once again let me apologize for the drawn out time between each of my blogs! you see, I killed my previous computer and due to the unstable and down right depressing economic times I have yet to be able to afford a new one. It's a goal though! right up there with "get the fuck out of the service industry!". I keep telling my producers to assist me in the assassination of Samantha Brown in order to then pitch OUR show to the travel channel and better our chances. It would be a win win for everyone involved, well, not poor Sam but I'm sure someone would benefit from the money she'll leave behind. Anyways, turns out their not too into that idea so maybe I'll have to start a fundraiser to get my new macbook. Even one dollar helps! If you want to read more of my blogs and want to help me achieve my goals email me at kaitlin@orlandolivestreaming.com Or make checks payable to Kaitlin Delaney and send them straight to full sail, soundstage 1A. cool thanks.

Anyways, the real purpose of this post is to vent about something that I've vented about before however I don't think I've ever been able to fully convey my true feelings on the matter. This will be quick and painless, I swear. 

There are several different kinds of people that exist in this world that make me absolutely sick to my stomach. Now, I pretty much like everyone, and get along with most people. But before I moved to downtown Orlando I never realized the amount of moron that is walking our streets everyday, polluting the social well being of our little town. Working in the service industry I have had the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with just about every kind of person there is. Although, I am honestly baffled everyday. One of my particularly favorite kind of morons to deal with are the "downtown dude bro's". You yourself might be familiar with these fine specimens but if not, allow me to enlighten you: A dude bro walks with a certain air of confidence and superiority. A dude bro typically talks with a nondescript half surfer dude half cave man kind of an accent and command. Dude bro's like to say "dude, bro". (betcha didn't see that one coming). When there are multiple dude bro's in one place they like to make fun of the douche baggery of their friends even though their own douche baggery far outshines any other douche bag around. Dude bro's think they can sexually, verbally or physically accost women whenever and wherever they damn well please. And most stupid chicks giggle and appreciate their dude bro gestures, accepting it as some kind of ass backwards compliment. ANY male attention is better than NO male attention, right ladies? (barf, please note the sarcasm). Dude bro's have severely bad taste in beer. Please, let me give you an example of how a dude bro orders a beer:

Dude bro: yea I'll take a bud light.

Server: we don't carry bud light.

Dude bro: fine, I'll take a heineken.

Server: we don't carry a heineken. 

Dude bro: What?! you don't have anything domestic? (he JUST ordered a HEINEKEN)

Server: we have an extensive list of microbrews and craft beers, it's on the menu I just put in front of you.

Dude bro: aw, dude, they have toucher! sweet, ill have a toucher!

(later on I'll bring his beer and he will inevitably correct me on how I'm pouring it. That's funny, do I go into YOUR job and tell you how to do it, asshole?)

A dude bro NEVER tips properly unless he's new to the scene and is still working out the kinks. I don't know if it's because they don't really make that much money despite their sweet embellished jeans and excessive bad tribal tattoos; or maybe they're on a budget and need to make sure they have enough money for their hair products for next week. (If I haven't painted a pretty decent visual for you yet then you're a goddamn idiot.) If you yourself are in fact a dude bro, please. enough. you are neither funny nor attractive. I know you think you are good with the ladies; but I hate to break it to you; the spray tanned chickadees throwing themselves at you don't have a single brain cell in their head and will probably make terrible wives/mothers. 

Anywho, as I promised I'll make this quick and painless. All I'm saying is this world would be a lot nicer place if we could send all the morons over to moron island and have them bask in eachother's moronness for eternity. But then, who would we make fun of, right?

cheers!